I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
