i jhust puked up my retainher.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
