Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
