He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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