i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
