Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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