I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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