I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
