you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
