am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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