we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize