i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
