Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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