Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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