i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
