i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize