Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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