I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
