last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
operation have a gay friend backfired
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
