Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize