fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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