It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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