Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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