i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
