Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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