If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
