You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize