Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
