dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
