Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we made out on top of his cat.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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