I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
