Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
