I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
