I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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