you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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