There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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