I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize