in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
