thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
