Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize