Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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