I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
