she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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