Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
