Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
now i know why i became what i already was.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize