never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
not ubering you a puppy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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