Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
