It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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