You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
