there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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