It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
