therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Drake has all the answers
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
