The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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