He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
