Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
