dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
