I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
