Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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