there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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