Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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