i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
