my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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