We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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