Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
