awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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